Blog

Narcissistic parents and their children’s relationships

Narcissistic parents will interfere with all of their children’s relationships.  Those will include: Relationships between siblings (triangulation) and setting one ...
Read More

Overt traits of covert narcissists

They are extremely judgmental of others.  This is because they have so many insecurities they are hyper critical of those ...
Read More

Controlling people

Controlling people   Controlling people are very keen on telling others who they are, what they are, what they are ...
Read More

Narcissism and suicidal feelings

If you come from a narcissistic family of origin or have had a narcissistic partner, suicidal feelings are “normal”.  This ...
Read More

Narcissism and suicidal feelings

If you come from a narcissistic family of origin or have had a narcissistic partner, suicidal feelings are “normal”.  This ...
Read More

Holding space for someone

When we hold space for others it means that we empathise that we can feel other people’s pain where ever ...
Read More

Signs you have been abused or are being abused by a narcissist

Signs that you have been abused or are being abused by a Narcissist: You are unsure of yourself.  Do you ...
Read More

Loneliness

  Feeling of loneliness after no contact or even while you are still in a relationship with a narcissist can ...
Read More

Sibling bullying

Being bullied, humiliated and treated with distain and contempt is much more than sibling rivalry Sibling bullying is an integral ...
Read More

Children of narcissistic parents

If you are a child of narcissistic parents growing up was never loving, supportive, fun, relaxing or safe.  Since narcissists ...
Read More

Talking to children

Most parents know that talking to their children is vital for their emotional and intellectual development, however, there are very ...
Read More

Projection

One of the most difficult things to understand in a relationship with a narcissist is their projection of their own ...
Read More

Intimacy with a partner

Intimacy with a narcissist Narcissists prefer second hand relationships, where they can feign intimacy with another person because they have ...
Read More

Sex with a narcissist

Sex with a narcissist Sex with a narcissist is a very “strange” experience.  Narcissists are as true to their disorder ...
Read More

Arguing with a narcissist

When arguing with narcissist it is important to know that you will never “win”, they will argue in an incoherent ...
Read More

Narcissistic Rage

Narcissistic rage is a manipulation tool that is used by narcissists to frighten, silence, hurt or break their “opponent”.  It ...
Read More

Contents

50 traits of narcs About us Abuse Abusers Characteristics Acronyms in narcissistic literature All  dysfunctional families are alike Authentic Vs ...
Read More

Toxic Love

Toxic Love The main qualities of all toxic people are that they are: Very judgmental of others and have little ...
Read More

Love Bombing

Love bombing is a term that was invented to describe how narcissists lure their potential target into their narcissistic orbit, ...
Read More

Narcissistic Hallmarks

Constant weird lies, a narcissist will lie even when the truth would serve them better Narcissistic rage, they will get ...
Read More

Emotionally unavailable people

  “Your truest friends are the ones who will stand by you in your darkest moments – because they’re willing ...
Read More

Body Language

An overt narcissist will have a tendency to have haughty arrogant postures.  For example, the male narcissist might walk down ...
Read More

Unhealthy parenting

Healthy parenting Parenting starts before babies are even born, with regard to diet, having healthy life style and generally taking ...
Read More

FOG Fear, Obligation Guilt

Emotional blackmail is one of the narcissists favourite forms of manipulation.  FOG stands for Fear, Obligation and Guilt, they use ...
Read More

Lazy Parasites

Narcissists are notoriously lazy in practically everything that they do (unless they feel like they have a worthy audience or ...
Read More

Narcissistic Fathers

It is fair to say that most narcissistic fathers have less impact on their children than narcissistic mothers do.  That ...
Read More

Good Child Syndrome

A lot of us have “Good child syndrome”, I made the phrase up (I thin), what I mean by it ...
Read More

Criticism

No one likes criticism, it is part of human nature, sometimes even constructive criticism can cause us to feel defensive.  ...
Read More

No Contact

No contact is the only route for some people to take after being in a relationship with a narcissist, whether ...
Read More

Critical Thinking

Wikipedia states that: Critical thinking, also called critical analysis, is clear, rational thinking involving critique. Its details vary amongst those ...
Read More

Healthy communication

There are loads of different communication styles.  There is no right way or wrong way.   However, there are healthy ways ...
Read More

Emotional Abuse

Every time you are devalued by them, it is designed to make them feel better about themselves at your expense ...
Read More

Golden Child

The narcissistic parent(s) have one or more favourites in their family unit and these are called the golden child(ren).  This ...
Read More

Institutional Grooming

Grooming is when a narcissist goes on a publicity campaign to promote themselves as a lovely person, rational, fair and ...
Read More

Grey Rock

Grey Rock is a technique that can be used to stay neutral and unemotional in the presence of a narcissist ...
Read More

Giving and receiving

Narcissists have three main currencies that they value and they are: Control Power Money (and other resources) Things like: Empathy ...
Read More

Trying to play nice

They are completely disinterested in what is going on in your life, they don’t ask questions about you (or your ...
Read More

The look and feel of abuse

Questions to ask yourself: How do you feel when you are around the other person? Do you feel uncomfortable around ...
Read More

Integrity

Narcissist’s actions rarely match their words, they are inconsistent and change their minds, opinions and dreams/desires on a regular basis.  ...
Read More

The wounds that are inflicted through a narcissistic family dynamic

Many people who have grown up in a narcissistic family fully understand how the core wounds that are inflicted manifest ...
Read More

Misogyny and Misandry

Wikipedia states that Misogyny means: Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested ...
Read More

Narcissists and the happiness of others

Narcissists do not like to see other people being happy, they have a pathological envy towards people are happy because ...
Read More

Narcissists are attracted to empaths

Narcissists are attracted to Empaths Narcissists are holding on to some emotional childhood trauma that they have not healed, as ...
Read More

Morality

Morality to a narcissist is a code of ethics that they want others to employ when dealing with them.  It ...
Read More

Bad babies

Narcissistic mothers can label their babies as being “bad”.  The reason for this is because the narcissistic mother will not ...
Read More

Signs that you have been abused or are being abused by a Narcissist

You are unsure of yourself.  Do you find it difficult to make decisions?  Constantly refer to other people for validation ...
Read More

Scapegoat

The opposite to the golden child is the scapegoat.  Scapegoating is a serious dysfunctional family problem.  It is when one ...
Read More

What to expect when you erect boundaries with a narcissist

They ignore your request to assert your boundaries, either by pretending not to have heard you or pretending to misunderstand ...
Read More

Narcissists form of “LOVE”

I love the way you make me feel about myself. I love the way that you want to take care ...
Read More

What narcissists what they say vs what they mean

“Think of the children” = Think of me “You are so selfish” = You are not giving me enough attention, ...
Read More

Not everyone has a conscience and the ability to empathise

There is a common myth that everyone has a conscience and the ability to empathise.  This is not the case ...
Read More

Parental Wounds

Our Parental Wounds are traumas that have been chugging down the line through the generations for a very long time ...
Read More

Gaslighting

Gas lighting is when an abusive person tries to shift your perception of events so that they can undermine your ...
Read More

Most commonly found acronyms in literature about narcissism

  ASPD – Antisocial personality disorder BPD – Borderline personality disorder CBT – Cognitive behavioural therapy C-PTSD – Complex post-traumatic ...
Read More

Boredom, drama and self-deception

The narcissist’s brain served human kind well in the long distant past.  It is completely selfish, reactive and lives in ...
Read More

Passive aggressive behaviour

Passive aggressive behaviour is frequently misunderstood.  What it is, is indirect anger.  The person is unable to acknowledge to themselves ...
Read More

Family System

A narcissistic family is a bit like being brought up in a war zone.  The narcissistic parent(s) have all of ...
Read More

Parental Alienation

There are varying degrees of parental alienation when separating from a narcissist.  The most extreme cases are absolutely ruthless in ...
Read More

Feelings and emotion words

Pleasant Feelings OPEN HAPPY ALIVE GOOD understanding great Playful calm confident gay courageous peaceful reliable joyous energetic at ease easy ...
Read More

Some very obvious signs of narcissism

 They are very controlling, they like to control the people around them, their partners, friends and colleagues They do this ...
Read More

Main fears of a narcissist

Fear of abandonment, being over looked or neglected. Fear of loss of control/being out of their comfort zone Fear of ...
Read More

Where abuse by females is different

It is reckoned in that one in three abuse victims are males, this figure as quoted in HelpGuide.org strongly contradicts ...
Read More

Why narcissists are like young children

Like toddlers, narcissists tend to have very rapid mood swings, the most notable of these swings is when they fly ...
Read More

Description words for narcissists

NARCISSISTS ARE Aggressive Agitated Angry Antagonistic Argumentative Arrogant Authoritative Blames others Bossy Bully Calculating Callous Capricious Cold Competitive Compulsive Conceited ...
Read More

On making mistakes

Narcissists  will expect their targets to apologise for the slightest trifle or indeed things that the narcissist did.  The words ...
Read More

Boundaries

What does the word "boundary" mean to you? Are you like I was and saw boundaries as something that happened ...
Read More

Parentification

Parentification is where one or both parents depend on their child(ren) to provide them with emotional and mental support.  It ...
Read More

Core Beliefs

  Your core beliefs are what you think about yourself and the world around you.  They are the hard drive ...
Read More

Pets

Narcissists see pets, like they see everything, as an extension of themselves.  They like to wear pets as an accessory, ...
Read More

Narcissists do not know you

Narcissists see the world through the only emotions that they can feel which are predominantly anger, frustration, jealousy, envy and ...
Read More

Common Cultural myths

  “We are sitting on top of a vast cultural and historical pyramid of accumulated misconceptions, lies and myths.”  Bryant ...
Read More

Betrayal trauma

If you are involved or have been involved with a narcissist the probability is that you have or will have ...
Read More

Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is a behaviour used by emotionally immature and manipulative people.  It is usually used by narcissists to ...
Read More

Brainwashing children & adults

Children are particularly easy to brainwash because the relationship between parent and child is not one of equals, far from ...
Read More

Secrets

Narcissists are pathologically secretive, they will pass on information on a need to know basis only and will very often ...
Read More

Communication techniques – arguing, conversing talking at people, not listening

"Listening is a form of accepting" Stella Terri Mann Before we realise that we are dealing with a narcissist we ...
Read More

The damaging effects of shame in narcissistic parenting

Shame damages the emotional well-being of the child and the child’s perception of themselves. Shame tells the child “you are ...
Read More

What are the effects of emotional incest on a child?

According to Wikipedia Emotional Incest is a style of parenting in which a parent looks to their child for the ...
Read More

Emotional Rape

According to Wikipedia rape is:   Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms ...
Read More

Respect for narcissists

We have all been told on a regular basis that we should respect everyone.  The things that these great purveyors ...
Read More

Narcissists Friendship & Loyalty

Did you ever question whether or not a “friend” was actually a friend or did you have a niggling feeling ...
Read More

Narcissists and the outside world

Narcissists do not really relate to the outside world.  They look for supply from the outside but filter all data ...
Read More

Advice for lawyers/mediators about narcissists

There are several key indicators that your client has been abused by a narcissist.  The first one is that they ...
Read More

What is physical abuse when it doesn’t include physical contact?

Physical abuse by a narcissistic parent when there is no physical contact such a hitting or pushing can include: Not ...
Read More

Different types of verbal and nonverbal abuse

Secrecy Secrecy is all about withholding information and a failure to share facts (financial, social and familial),  thoughts (their own ...
Read More

Triangulation

Triangulation is a narcissist’s indirect form of communication where one person (the narcissist) acts as a conduit to prevent direct ...
Read More

Sense of humour and being teased

Narcissists have a very poor sense of humour especially when it comes to themselves.  They take themselves extremely seriously and ...
Read More

The Scorpion and the Frog

One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So ...
Read More

Traits that narcissists look for in their “chosen ones”

 Empathy a narcissist will always be looking for an empathic person. This is because they are easier to manipulate.  It ...
Read More

In synthesis

Narcissism is a very popular subject at the moment.  It is for a good reason - it is extremely prevalent ...
Read More

Gratitude

When we genuinely say “Thank you” to someone for something what we are really saying is “I do not feel ...
Read More

Food and drink

Many narcissists have bizarre behaviours around food, this manifests in a number of ways.  They can: Serve themselves more than ...
Read More

If you apologise to a narcissist

They will not accept your apology graciously They will try to get you to repeat the apology time and again, ...
Read More

Infantalisation

Infantalisation in narcissistic families happens deliberately and by default.  It happens by default because the narcissistic parent(s) are emotionally very ...
Read More

How to leave a narcissist

Leaving a narcissist is a very difficult thing to do.  All relationship separations are difficult but a narcissist will make ...
Read More

Manipulation

Narcissists use constant manipulation to devalue their victims to the extent that a victim will feel worthless extremely anxious and ...
Read More

Narcissistic parents

Narcissistic parents are vandals, they rarely say nice things to their children, as they are in constant competition with them.  ...
Read More

Narcissistic siblings

If you have grown up in a narcissistic family of origin, it is likely that you will have one or ...
Read More

Narcissistic mother

The narcissistic mother has to be the hardest narcissist to deal with, she has opted to put herself in charge ...
Read More

Jealousy and Envy

How narcissists redirect anger  Narcissists are masters in the art of redirecting anger from themselves on to others.  They are ...
Read More