Narcissists are notoriously lazy in practically everything that they do (unless they feel like they have a worthy audience or they are working towards a specific personal gain). It is for this reason that they do not cooperate well either in the home or in the work place. Because of their immense sense of entitlement and superiority they will see that it is the job of everyone else, to take care of their needs.
This laziness can be in the form of not wanting to do menial jobs around the house, not wanting to work outside the house to bring in a second income, riding on and taking credit for the work, opinions and efforts of others, not taking care of their relationships both familial and social, unless they perceive a person to be either useful or powerful in which case they can turn on the charm in a dazzling way.
Laziness also manifests itself in how they look for a partner. A narcissist will automatically look for someone with low confidence and self-esteem or a carer/giver type, as they will know instinctively that they will be easier to control, manage and well give them more of their time, attention and resources than someone with a healthy sense of boundaries and a strong sense of self. Just like predators in the wild, they will seek out wounded or hurting prey so that they do not have to expend too much effort or energy in hooking their target. This prey will have already been primed from previous experiences to succumb to the initial charms and attention of the narcissist, they will lie, manipulate, cheat and will mirror what they think their prey wants to hear.
Once you become involved with the narcissist they will show his or her true parasitical nature and gradually manipulate their “partner”, “friend” or colleague into taking care of them. They will do this absolutely without remorse or any sense of moral wrong doing or guilt.
Another ploy that narcissists will use to ensure that their needs are met is by invalidating the efforts of others and exaggerating their own contribution through lies, manipulation (either overt or covert) and drama.
A narcissist is “emotionally” very lazy and will not work on their “relationships” unless they think that the other person could be useful to them. They will not take up the phone or write to a sick or depressed “friend” and they would seriously resent having to listen to them or worse still take care of them in some way. That is not the role that they have assigned themselves and would definitely see it as beneath them. Other people need to do that for them. In fact, in the eyes of a narcissist, other people are not allowed to have needs or feelings, if they do they had better take care to keep them to themselves as it will only make the narcissist angry and resentful if they feel that they are being “put upon” in any way. Their attitude is that other people are only there for their convenience. If you are any trouble they will ignore and shun you until they want something from you.
Narcissists do not invest in their relationships once they have their target (friend, lover or acquaintance) “hooked”, as it takes too much energy and effort. Obviously their own children take no effort to be “hooked” because the narcissist views them as their own property from the moment they are born. Due to the parasitical nature of the narcissist, they will feed off the energy and efforts of others. Consequently, if you are in close proximity to a narcissist it can feel like all the oxygen is being sucked out of the air or it is like being covered in ticks, having your blood slowly but constantly sucked out of you.
They will say things like “I would love to help you but…”, “I was going to bring you chicken soup but…”, “oh I was just about to do that, but you got there before me” the mechanism that is at work here is that they are trying to extract gratitude or a sense of indebtedness without having actually done anything. Naturally they had absolutely no intention of doing anything at all.
The narcissist if a master in the art of harvesting compliments and praise for something that they didn’t do. For example, take a husband and wife scenario: guests have been invited to dinner and the wife has done the cleaning, shopping and cooking all day long, then just as the husband (or vice versa) hears the car pulling up to the house, will jump into action and rush to the stove and start stirring pots or put finishing touches on the table. The guests will turn to the narcissist who has been completely lazy until this point and pay a compliment to them and the narcissist will say in a totally insincere way “Oh no my spouse did it all” and the guests will think how modest s/he is and generous in their “praise” of their partner.
Narcissists unlike other parasites do not know when to stop taking, so they will eventually leave their partner so depleted that they can lose the will to live, if a narcissist makes a partner depressed or suicidal they will feel no remorse what so ever. They will see it as an achievement in the ultimate execution of power and at the same time get annoyed with their “host” for lowering the quality of the narcissistic supply. They will spend other people’s money with loose abandon if given access to it, they will take credit for things that they did not achieve, they will get angry if they are not given everything that they want without question, they will verbally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually abuse their partner in a way that will leave them feeling confused, exhausted and weak. Just where the narcissist wants them to be.