They are very controlling, they like to control the people around them, their partners, friends and colleagues
They do this through pathological lying, inventing false support groups that “back up” what they say, tell you that other people said nasty things about you behind your back, specifically to create suspicion and confusion within a specific group so that they can control it better
They enjoy other’s misfortune and conversely are very envious of any perceived success, it is for this reason that they find it very hard to celebrate other people (even birthdays, weddings and births not to mention promotions at work or successful projects)
They have absolutely no interest in how you are. Their investment is exclusively in what you can do for them. So if you are depressed, lost your job or grieving they will not come near you until you are useful again. If they do call you, you know that there is no authenticity in their fake concern and it will be very easy to hear the apathy in their voice.
They never get anything wrong or make any mistakes, it is always someone or something else that is at fault
They always have to feel “better than” everyone else. They do this by telling you who they are, rather than let their behaviour inform. They brag, name drop, will tell you that other people think that they are richer, more beautiful and talented than practically everyone. This narrative seems to be as much to reassure the narcissist as it is used to convince others of their superior status
They need to belittle others to feel okay about themselves
They are very aggressive if they are threatened in any way. This comes in the form of:
Name calling
Intimidation
Threats
Sneering
Controlling
Being sexually inappropriate/predatorial in comments and touching
Deliberately humiliating or embarrassing people in public
Jeering
A complete inability to see any situation from any perspective other than their own. If they have not experienced something first had – it doesn’t exist, if it doesn’t affect them – it isn’t happening
If they have done something or don’t like something about themselves they will disown it and project it onto someone else. They will also blame other people for the fact that they are unhappy, unsuccessful, their relationship failed etc. (it can never be their fault)
They are very happy to play the victim role and will indulge in it liberally with anyone who will listen, they will also use it as a ploy in their many smear campaigns
They will try to brainwash people around them into seeing things from their perspective, this is purely an exercise in control and they do this very simply by repeating the same lie again and again and again.
They will do everything that they can to make you doubt your reality. This again in a technique they use to try to exhort control over other’s perceptions
They are horrendous bullies, they do this by yelling, insulting, feigning deep offense at some innocuous comment
They never see anyone as anything other than a resource to get their own needs met. They will violate every boundary and exploit a person’s emotional generosity, their naivety (in thinking that the narcissist has good intentions – they don’t), they will take and break “stuff” and above all they will do everything that they can do to destroy your reputation. They will do this with absolutely no remorse what so ever.
